Coƒƒee §wirls & Velvét Cake ƒor You*

2008 Review.


Stayed single almost the whole year?
- weh.

Kissed someone new?
- not that i'm aware of =|

Done something you've regretted?
- just last night i dared to guess a long-time-no-see aquaintence and i got his name wrong. even though i was close. but never doing that again.

Lost someone?
- a lovely woman i served with at camp was called home.... but on another note just felt some previous less serious losses a little more than usual.

Cut class?
- not in ma senior year! woo! though i think i did miss one symantics class coz i couldn't be bothered to spend 3 hours on the road.

Were involved in something you'll never forget?
- sure; especially within the last few months... lunch with a friend, non-graduation =P, swearing in as a citizen, camp, random trip to va beach, midnight movies with another friend, the atlantis/palm fireworks, dubai in general.. and painting walls! hehe... and new years was pretty cool.

Visited a different country?
- YES! thank the heavens. got a passport and was outta hee.

Cooked a gross meal?
- ummm... no. i hope nobody does that intentionally =|

Lost something important to you?
- one of my earrings =( and i returned to find a completely redecorated room, so i have no idea where a lot of stuff is.

Got a gift you adore?
- yes! dad bought me my first pair of converse shoes. hehehe.. ummm... and.. my cousin's uncle and his wife gave me a beaaautiful leather business handbag for my graduation. yet to be used.

Tripped over a coffee table?
- no. ha.

Dyed your hair?
- no sirree. but cut my hair the most in one year than i ever have before i think.. hehe...

Came close to losing your life?
- not that i'm aware. though that last landing was a little swervy.

Went to a party?
- a few.

Read a great book
- yes finally got my firt c.s.lewis done. and i can't remember whether i read wild at heart this year or fall of last. but that's darn awesome..

Saw one of your favourite bands/artists live?
- probably. though i had to give up my tickets for coldplay. bitter for life.


2008: Friends and Enemies

Did you meet any new friends this year?
- camp you always do. also some of j*ro's crowd.

Did you dislike anyone?
- YES. this obnOXious girl in symatics class who asked the STUUUUUPIDest questions. sooooo disrespectful of everybody else's time. i was ready to throw several pens at her on multiple occasions. but i like my pens.

Did you grow apart from anyone?
- um.... not necessarily apart coz i don't think i've gtten close enough to anyone for it to be considered as that. it's more of a distance thing. lots of friends far away.

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
- not this year. though i wasn't very good at calling back a certain person


2008: Your BIRTHDAY!

Did you have a cake?
- i can't really remember...

Did you have a party?
- i still can't remember..

Did you get any presents?
- i think so. =|

2008: All about YOU

Did you change at all this year?
- yeah... and it's a growing up change so it's been hard.

Did you get your hair cut?
- ha... i mentioned before! my last one was like 2 days before i flew back here by a sweet irish girl across the street/ the trunk.

Were you in school?
- till april! early finish! woo!

Did you get good grades?
- yessir. i rocked that dean's list.

Did you have a job?
- summatime. and worked furr free for a while!

Did you drive?
- huh? um. shya! probably more than you!

Did you own a car?
- not in my name, but i use it! =S

Did anyone close to you give birth?
- ummmmmmmm..... same couple who gave me the bag! adorable girl!

Did you move at all?
- countries for a while. which was awesome.

Did you go on any vacations?
- different country for a while. it was awesome. oh, did i say that already?

Would you change anything about yourself now?
- i will be doing so, thanks.


2008: Wrap UP:

Was 2008 a good year?
- some really great moments but i think everyone i know has found it to be a tough year

Do you think 2009 will top 2008?
- YES. i hope.

I confess that in 2008 I...

(si) stayed single for the whole year
() kissed in the snow
(hate-was outta the country) celebrated Halloween
(passively) had your heart broken
( ) mooned someone
( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone
( ) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion.
( ) done something you've regretted

OTHER
(penciled) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
(probably- total over summer =P ) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
( ) posted a blog on MySpace
(YESSS) visited a foreign country
( ) cut in a line of waiting people
(ugh sorry) told someone you were busy when you weren't
(great) partied to celebrate the new year
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
( ) lied about how old you were
( ) prank called someone


In 2008 I...
[i stopped making promises a while back] broke a promise
[ ] have/had a boyfriend/girlfriend
[a countable number of times! on the fingers too!] lied
[ ] cried over a broken heart
[too close] disappointed someone close
[database] hid a secret!
[ ] pretended to be happy
[ ] slept under the stars
[ ] kept your new years resolution
[ ] forgot your new years resolution
[several] met someone who changed your life
[ ] met one of your idols
[it's time] changed your outlook on life
[twas nice] sat home all day doing nothing
[just extended real sickness a little!] pretended to be sick
[yeesss] left the country
[dunno] almost died
[not permanently] given up on something/someone important to you
[ ]lost something expensive
[ ] learned something new about yourself
[sushi!] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
[lots] made a change in your life
[ ] found out who your true friends were
[sure] met great people
[without even realizing.] stayed up til sunrise
[ ] had friends who were drifting away from you
[ ] had a high cell phone bill
[when @ uni] spent most of your money on food
[ ] had a fist fight
[1st time in a decade or so w/ cousins count?] went to the beach with your best friend(s)
[sickest i've probably ever been] gotten sick
[ ] liked more than 5 people at the same time
[some!] became closer with a lot of friends


i'm glad for this. for a while i thought 08 sucked. either way, glad to see it go. time for new things.

why is God always depicted as a fit but elderly man? He isn't X years old. God is timeless, ageless. We were made in his image, but why when reverse it to figure out what his image is, we chose the oldest, most unappealing stage? fine; to reflect wisdom and his longevity.
He is the epitome of strength. so perhaps a younger man? not necessarily a body builder, but surely a micheal phelps sort of strong? an endurance.
but surely, as a baby too, for He is ever only the beginning of eternity?
his entity cannot even be imagined. we are constantly changing. even from day to day we look different. we count up the years. God doesn't. He goes every which way in time. so how can we put a face to him, defined by a familiarity which would limit his timelessness to a certain point in the present?
i enjoy God in His entity as God. capable of being opposite extremes simultaneously. unchanged, unchanging perfection.and blindingly radiant.
heh... dunno if this has anything to do with having recently finished c.s.lewis' out of the silent planet. but anyway. onto the next.

why... hello.
i've missed you.

i should be sleeping. tmrw morning my alarm clock will go off at 5:30. i'll have to dress in a yellow tshirt and put on my shield, pick up my sword, and take on what the day has in store at camp.

i'm a little out of it, and when i'm there, my head fires off so many thoughts and my heart starts to move and feel for things i'd long locked away.

but now in love and appreciation for the story you've created with me, i wonder about you, plead a prayer for you, miss you.

I don't belong here.

But while i am, i am more than content.

I am going somewhere. At first i figured, and i still might say, i don't know where i'm going. But ultimately, inevitably, i am going home.

How to describe it?.. On my way there, i take the train.. I know where i'm going to end up- if i stay on the right train. Through the smooth and through the bustling, i don't headphone and i don't close my eyes. I listen and watch. I look out the window at every station and appreciate its architecture and the faces standing by. I may not know what's to happen at the next one, but i wait on it. And at every station people walk out, and new ones walk in, each with a new story. I exchange with a few, but learn from them all. At one point, hoping to leave something of me around my seating area, i will step off, joyful to have arrived at my destination.

On my way there, i am to be someone. However, i am not to impose my own mindset. I'm to deny myself, since it is already dead, and reflect who i am anew in Christ. His radiance will only be dimmed should i choose Not to share Him.

I cannot be "someone" alone. Reaching out in kindness calls for being present, and in the presence of His creation... to carry those who are broken to the Giver in prayer, to point those who feel lost to the Glorious Light, to plead with the Saviour on behalf of the fallen, to pass on the boundless Love to those who have forgotten.

You need to be fearless. To perform upon God's calling without a fraction of doubt. Doubt? That the Holy Spirit is not enough to guide in wisdom and truth? Possessing this fearlessness allows for a greater peace, a surreal calm, a passionate burning.
Eyes that dare Satan to challenge you- and consequently, challenge the All-Mighty.

It was in junior camp. The five year olds sat cross-legged, willing, eager to know the story today. Junior camp means whiteboard. Beautiful large whiteboard. I uncapped the pen and began to read and draw.. First, a small, young David. On the other side of the valley, a huge, armoured Goliath. With a beard. As i voiced the act, i saw the image of 'fearlessness' and paused in realization. The verse reads: "As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him." (1 Sam. 17:48) Now it may be a strategy, or to build kinetic/potential energy for the stone, but still, to run -fast- to meet with death and/or great pain, is... ...This confidence. This undoubting confidence in God

to know ten thousand will fall.

to go and restore the glory back into his name where it's not seen as defining who He is.

to be willing to suffer a loss and ache for another.

to be aware of and still give up the risk of losing value in the world- the same entity of a world the first disciples of Christ abandoned to follow him. They put on sandals, and went. What difference is there now? The world is still the world, and God is Still the merciful God He was. Put on crocs, and Go.

It's not easy. To be a fool for Christ. To be a soldier against physical masses. To withstand rejection and abandonment for choosing to dedicate yourself back to Christ. It's not trivial pursuit. It cannot be. More attacks beget greater strength (and dexterity), developing a deeper confidence & a surefire 1Up. Rough times mean to be in situations that allows for a chance to validate God's presence, and to hold it tight as proof, once pulled out of the canyon and found
on a peak, clear sight for miles..(Romans 5:3,4) Everyone will go through something. The Difference is that i, personally, can joyously surrender. Give it up. My past is sunk. Celebration. Hope. Rest. How Generous...

Now it is given to us: Christ willingly took our running a red light ticket, and went to court. Purest of blamelessness, judged on behalf of every ticketed. He chose to save. I choose to be saved.

I can stand, and look Death square in the eye, and without a shudder tell it:
You have no authority over me. Because i belong to Christ who wrestled with you and defeated you out of his love for me.

What joy! Death is for sure- but "to die is gain"! (Philippians 1:21)

Victory is guaranteed.

But tomorrow is not.

And so... be present, make progress, entertain the angels.

mouse over the colours for details.

starbucks is arising right up the road. it couldn't be any closer..





rana's coming soon. and she's bringing the heat to atlanta. [for the shortest time. uhum.]

i sat in the train. if anyone looked at me, they saw someone sitting still- a high ponytail with dark strands falling over the right side of her face, her left leg over her right knee, her hands in her lap, bag on the seat next to her... all motionless save for the tram's jostling and her darting eyes.
i look out the window. everything is passing me by and going away from me, since i am sitting backwards. i gaze up, but the trees are too fast for my eyes.
"turn your gaze upwards," i say. it prompts me to think about God because there is no limit to up.
and i wished for something i'd never thought of before.

i wished i could live forever. be ageless, here on earth. to be able to meet so many and detect their potential. to give them the love that kills me and watch them become the person who will change one life or one world, in their own incomparable way.
i wish i could live forever just to experience God's grace over and over, yet never the same.

coz in Him, all extremes, all opposites- at one Simultaneous moment... it makes sense.
and.. at the very same time, it makes none whatsoever.

i realize why i loved you so much.
you didn't love yourself enough.

i forgot my gloves.
i thought they were in the car where i usually leave them, but i couldn't find them once i parked at the train station. unusually, it wasn't so cold; a beautiful clear day. i was wearing my thick university hoodie under my black coat, and had my wide scarf hung over my bag, so i had places to hide my fingers when they did start to numb out.

the law class i have on mondays for two hours and a half is affecting me unlike most of the classes i've taken. we're required to read a book written by a lawyer who acted on behalf of some 600 ppl who suffered a major and traumatizing loss. you may have heard of buffalo creek. you may, like me, have not. but in reading up on the train, i had to hold back tears. other than all the legal processes, you get first hand accounts of the people... the men, who just tried and tried but couldn't save their babies. others watching their wives drown before their eyes, just out of arm's reach.
it sounded like a wheel was loose under the tram i was in. i looked out the window opposite me into the pitch black of outside. he'd let us out early, but i still couldn't beat the sunset. speeding reflections of light appeared briefly, and i knew we were high up above the highway. in a split second, the metallic rattling could give way and the tram could come loose, and i'd drop my book and cling to my seat's rail and do nothing but hold on, breath and call God.
but we just kept going. the driver was going a little faster than usual and that made for a relatively bumpy ride. so i stopped reading. instead, i noted that just about everyone who was in the tram with me was wearing black. i still held the small novel open between my thumb and baby finger, but my eyes were on the asian man who sat perpendicular to me. he was bundled up in a dark navy blue coat and though his hair was still black save for a few otherwise unnoticeable silver strands, you could tell he was on the older side. on his lap he had his large bag, and he had raised both his arms to rest on it. in his hands was what seemed to be a usatoday cutout; a large print of a sudoku puzzle. as we all jostled in unison, he peered through his glasses and traced the boxes with his free finger. with his left hand, he filled in the numbers as he concentrated and figured them out; his numbers, childish. his twos, one looped, one straight. he had filled out the middle square the most when he grabbed everything too fast for me to notice and got off at his stop along with others, leaving me as the only black clad person on one end of the tram.
it takes mere seconds to appreciate life that is not even your own. let your eyes dart.

on the side wall a miniposter for depression research. "do you suffer from: -being sad or irritated? -having suicidal thoughts -not having any energy? -losing interest in hobbies and friends? -believing life is not worth living?-" i snickered. who do these people think has the right to judge the worth of living? if i gave you a glass of... what, orange juice, apple juice. cherry juice. whatever you like. and you taste it. then i give you a glass of air. how much more worthy is the glass of juice to you as opposed to the empty one? death has no worth, and we have not experienced otherwise to be capable of measuring life.


i changed out my mutemath cd and slid in the earthsuit one as i tried to drive with my knees. the good ol' end-of-90s. sounds so far and out fashioned huh. but the songs you grew up to will always sound good.
i would have been able to reach my estimate/goal of parking the car by the end of 'said the sun to the shine' for a grand finale of a trip and a grand entrance home --if it weren't for the fact that the garage door opener refused to function. the song ended with my headlights half a meter from the door and me fiddling with the battery of the ingenious contraption consisting of a rubber button, plastic casing, some wiring i'm sure, and said battery. on which i now pressed the metal frame with my fingers. the door opened majestically, and my hair remained bound by gravity.

mark had called me. i hate it when i miss his call. it's a rare pleasure, and gives me my "worth" to be there for my brother. i thought of all my younger cousins too. i feel like a big sister, and i love it. i never realized i had a sincere affinity of being the one who took care of the kids during reunions. the eldest girl of 14 on my father's side, and second eldest to my married cousin out of 13 on mum's side. most i know well, and we are close. full houses are fun.

this summer will, God willing, be my third year at camp. first year i was a counselor. the second, i was asked to be a covenant leader as well as taking on a group of kids. this year, i've been asked to be part of a team of directors who serve other counselors as we all make the day as fun as possible for the day. if you knew me before 3 years ago, you'd know i didn't like kids. just wasn't fond of them. i've seen hearts of stone broken. mine wasn't stone, but it was definitely changed.
i know couple of my closer friends won't be at camp, but it's not about me and it's not about them, it's about those smiling faces pleading with you to return next year. if God calls, there will be no regret found. and so i cancel my plans to travel to the beach.


i'll submit by application for graduation this week.
it's about time.

dear 2006,

i'm glad you're gone. you were really hard on me. still, without a doubt i appreciate you; every minute, i was learning, becoming closer to something or someone. surely, i was enriched by your hardships. and now you can rest in peace. no longer will your name be stained with blame.

the new you is here. it's nothing but an image, really. like you changed clothes, so you look nice now.

between you and me, we are nothing. you're just time, and i'm just dust. what gives us any significance is being belongings of our never changing God. He is gracious, and will bless us in His time.

in your passing, my countdown to the future is sealed. yet now i begin again.
you become renewed,
i press refresh.

you held for me both some of the fondest moments and some of the most testing struggles that will forever change who am.

goodbye.

the sun didn't show today.
and such on my spirit.

please pray for me. i need all you can offer. i'm struggling. i'm crashing. and once i'm in realization of that part, the road ahead isn't looking good.


unfailing love is a curse.





...be safe.

wed.
last day of work.
dad arrived safely.


i sing with josh groban of love lost.
karoshi, gone.

for later laughs.

let's see here.
um.
this is going to be a lot of random stuff.
so take your time.
and mine.

• before i forget (it's not on the list), i found out today that it's very possible that "beautiful letdown" for switchfoot is my life song. it pertains to how i perceive myself, and it relates to my extra special of favourite verses from the Bible.

• the list i talk of above is the one i jotted down on my little dry-erase board so that i don't forget what i wanted to bloggate. oh-and mum placed some wool socks on it yesterday so half the stuff is wiped off. jreat.

• switchfoot btw continue to impress me. starting with "new way to be human" they keep releasing songs that are irresistibly catchy. and they're focused. they're ridiculously fun. if you're bored, look them up on youtube and watch their podcasts. they're hilarious. ppl you'd want to hang out with. i didn't consider them a top favourite of mine, but i realize they deserve to be. yes, now you can all sleep in peace; i know it was bothering you.

• lights. time and again, i find that light is the reason i love to observe, i love to take photos. colours and everything we see is after all, a result of light. and now that houses are adorned with all sorts of lights, i feel a little more joyful inside. my sight is waning true, but i absolutely adore the gift of sight.
  
• lights. if you go down the road to my aunt's house, you wouldn't need to go the lake lanier light show. lake lanier is not too far from where we live, and they have a tradition of putting on a show; you drive through the resort (vast lands mind you) and all along the road are light decorations. moving. still. 3d. stuff like santa's sleigh and his reindeer jumping over your car. a series of the '12 days of cmas'. all sorts of fun things. they have something like it in virginia beach on a much smaller, less animated scale.
  
• lights. i came home one day to find mark and mum had put up our lights. it's nice coz... well.. we've never done it before. so our two entrances are hazed with a warm blue, and our front lawn is lined with giant lightbulbs. i was really excited about those coz mum and i ordered them online, and so nobody else has them. but not two nights later, we got a knock on the door from a neighbour who tells us that someone had stripped one set of bulbs (we have...had 3) and unwound the lights on one of our bushes and thrown them on her lawn. the lightbulbs, which were made of quite resistant plastic were completely shattered. i was so upset. now our garden is a little unbalanced, and the safety i'd felt living here has decreased. for someone to come right up.... and parcels were stolen from several houses along our street. but.. i mean comon, why? it's not like a religious thing. what've you got against lights? we've got a grinch who roams our street.
• just btw. why don't our lights stay out all year round? really. disregarding the electricity bill =S. is Jesus' story only worth lights during december?
• lights. why do i always end up behind the car that has either one or both brake lights non-functional? i actually had one car that winked at me- hahahaha! it was so funny- this miniature car had one light working and the other not. but when he/she hit the breaks, the working one would -... wait... i'm really confused about how it worked. blah. take it from me, it was funny.
• lights; for the first time, as i drove home the other night, i saw what the machine for strobe lights looks like. you know, the ones you call batman with. they had it in a publix parking lot. it's about as big as my car =|

• weather's insane. today was fog in the morning. by noon i was wishing i was wearing a nicer tshirt so i could take off my hoodie.
  
• but cold nights means clear skies.
  
• atlanta is busy with planes. so much so that you can't be too sure your wish upon the "shooting star" will come true. witty disguises.
• the stars are sweet. they always were. always will be. sarai's husband gazed upon them. he must have had a better view though coz there wouldn't have been such a thing as pollution to distort it all.

• there's a town in the north pole that have something to do every cmas. check it.
• i read that, then about 5 stories about ppl drowning. stranded. abused. shot.
  
• .....
• [shakes head]

• i have 10 cups in my room. no wait, i just brought one more up. oh and a mug rana sent me.

• i pulled out my ipod the other day. i hadn't touched it for a year (to two weeks). i have some good stuff on there. especially coming through my new purple speaker/bean pillow my aunt left for us to claim.
  
• i'd say about 50% of train-takers have headphones on. from the poor ones with their walkmans to the students and their bazillion versions of ipods to the businessmen with their.. uh.. ipods. that dratted thing. anyway, you'll get the occasional weirdo who sings out loud. and i don't mean rapping along- i mean singing. whining singing. ofcourse, everyone darts their eyes around to see who it is and then pretend like they can't hear. but on tuesday, having the ipod with me for the second time, i sang on the train. i did.

• you remember that story i told about me potentially being a composer? the one where i dreamt a song, nonexistant as of yet? well mum tells me the story of the writer of some christmas hymns. i think she mentioned "hark the herald angels sing" as one of them.
  guess what. he dreamt them.

• if i left you slightly disturbed with the bullet point before the one above, let me put your mind at ease and erase that look of disgust and raised eyebrow; the tram i was on was relatively empty. the ppl on the other end of it wouldn't be able to hear me, and the four ppl around me each had the blessing of their own headphones. =P.

• i stopped by my aunt's on monday after work. i walked in to where everyone was sitting, and said my serious hello to the women (none of the husbands are around. mum, aunt, teta) and then my playful "hIIIIiiiIII" to ella as a smile crept on my face. she's hilarious: she returned the hi in the saaame way and her face lit up. before i could put down my cam, the keys, my bag, my scarf, and my jacket, she had run around the couch and jumped on me for a hug. at that point, i didn't care much for my stuff so they kinda all ended up on the floor. sniffle. =*)
• that evening they had the train that teta had gotten her set up. mark helped put in on the track and ella daringly jumped in and out of the ring. this time, she was strong enough to pick mark's timberlands up (did i blog it last time?) and she walked around with them on. as i put myself some labne to eat with the mana2eesh teta had made, ella walked into the kitchen by me, and pulled out some bowls. one went on her head, and another was for her doggy. amusement ensued.

• i taught mum how to play on my nintendo ds. hehe... brain age =P and i taught her sudoku. soduko. so ducko. whatever.

• on wed i woke up with a cramped left calf. the poor thing mooed all day. heh. no but i had no reason to. it's still tight, and it was painful to walk up the escalators and all over downtown today.
  
• after playing a round of stats final, i msged my former roommate tina, and we met up for a moe's lunch. i hadn't had it in a while. ofcourse, it's exam period so it took us a while (ie, we trekked around, ouch) to find something open. coz students don't eat during exam periods. everyone knows that.
• i later discovered (on wed) a cut along my lower thumb. my upper thumb wasn't too happy about it. and the plaster i was given (band aid for you americanized) had to be reinforced with scotch tape i had at bay in the lab.

• lab! oh lab. sigh. i only work two more shifts. i'm really, really upset about leaving. i absolutely love my job.
  
• the reason (i may not have mentioned =S) i'm leaving is because next semester is 5 classes and more importantly, they're all downtown. btwn traffic and homeworkload... yeah. i'll spend my time dead or dying. or editing photos.

• i got me some cool black nailpolish. it's got the slightest hue of blue. i realized i still had work, so i put it on my toenails. for now. call me punk in my blue jeans and bare feet.

• um... i think i'm done.
• i need a haircut.
• but i probably won't get one.
• unless it's spontaneous.

• oh yeah. the total number of gifts i have bagged for cmas isssssssssssss.... 0. yeah. i have a lot of shopping to do. WISE shopping seeing as to i won't be having much of a personal income for the next few months. oh the agonies of growing up. =P
• (this degree better be worth a salary even I think is generous.) (this school better have the reputation for biz. that it says it has) (make that a "Starting salary")

• forgive me. i now have time to be extremely silly. and way too much to reminisce, remember, think, and miss.

• coming soon: videos & quizzes. be excited. very excited.
  

edit:: quiz

something like this



feel the wrath of the wreath.
deenar.

one day last week, i got back late from downtown. i hit rush hour and i didn't get home till well after the sun had set. but this is what i got on my out of the train station.


yay lights!

y-y-y-a-a-a-y-y l-l-l-i-i-g-g-h-h-t-t-t-s-s-s-!-!-!


my own warm galaxy

welcome =)


markus.


i poked him. he turned.


"one more" - morn of my last exam. cheers traffic. cheers fog.

i was absolutely stunned. it was one of the beautifully paintings i've ever seen. look at how that paint rolls. your could nearly pour it.

and i'll be done. i have an entire list of things to write about. but i need time. which i don't have much of to spare right now. but real quick-
tmrw is stats. nothing to worry about since all i need is a 71 on this final to keep my A. ("oh- you're smart! " said my coworker upon seeing a previous grade; "no," i said, "it's just really easy. there's a difference.")
so wish me luck tmrw.
...but not for the test.
to be on time!

the start time calls that i leave here in the heat of rush hour. and it's going to probably take me about 2 hours to get there.
sigh.
tmrw i leave before the sun gets out of its orbital bed.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16070337/

i don't even know them.
but watching them for two days search for him was heart wrenching enough. this has been one of the saddest stories i've ever heard.
when i came home, mum let me know they found him. and though we had solemnly agreed yesterday that it was unlikely he was alive, when i figured by mum's look that he was dead, tears came to my eyes.
he had set out to save his wife and his beautiful girls. he died alone.
my prayer had been futile.

...
there's so much more to life.
and i cry and can only hope others had discovered it before their time was up.





i have to get back to writing bullcrap material about people getting their money in this world that revolves around things God Didn't create.

but i'm not allowed in.
oh the agony.


no seriously. i'm trying hard to focus on my life insurance bazillion questions. but i'm hazed over.
last night i slept, but i felt i was awake the entire time. i dunno if i dreamt it but it was very real and surreal at the same time. and i woke up exhausted. cranberry apple tea was nice first thing at work. i love that pink shade that bleeds from the teabag. sweet.
about this studying thing, i plead my defence as a temporary case of a.d.d.

oh look, i need a haircut.

me, saturday.




no medicines for me. but i did down a theraflu weird drink. coz my head is pounding. my throat as inflamed as a frog. my skin a good source to warm my fingers.