Coƒƒee §wirls & Velvét Cake ƒor You*

1 seriously painful, large bruise, already turning blue from a misled frisbee from this tiny kid about 20 meters away. dimensions: l=~4.5 cms, w=~1cm. location: upper frontish left arm.
2 piggy back rides across the plains of heat..
3 hour nap which feels like it never took place.

i'm eggs. awe. stead.
and very discouraged.
i'm starting to doubt some things, and wonder about others.

hi.
i'm burnt.
my skin on my arms is burning.
and my face is sculpted by the sun's rays. in a pink.

i
am
exhausted.

yeah, i won't be able to make it to the 5:30 workout session. (a.m.)

i feel odd.
being at a diff college than about 40% of the counselours go to is a disadvantage. you return to find them all bonded.
hello walking around alone wondering why on earth i can't appeal to anyone except those perhaps far away.
i miss my friends.
i had friends.
i loved them.
not really really liked them.
i loved them.
i miss them. the new and the old.
i miss my new love. i miss my old loves.

first day of camp.
and i'm ready to run away.

the norm.


name taaag w00t. + whistle.


sleeve



back.

i'll see y'all later. burnt.

peacock feathers, to be spread out.


centerpiece of moons


Klimt corner (to be joined by various photos)


and vintage mini posters.

Little one turned 2 monday.

she ate all the snoobar/pineseeds off mark's la7m 3ajeen. so cute.

bella and her blankie.


when she saw me holding up the phone she knew i was taking photos so she instantly said "teeee!" (baby talk for "cheese") and then moved my arms out of the way so she could sit in my lap.

J.

So Mark woke up today (yest) and decided to graduate.



ok.

so it was a nice ceremony. a bit too long. but it was funny and cute. and we got to see Wesley Snipes up close. (his son's in Mark's class.) he didn't have his Blade on him.



as soon as we met up, he attacked me first with the biggest hug ever - aww!

he was lookin' sharp! the cravat dad got him was super sweet: pink with an intricate blue design. and oooh that watch. the shoes.. the trousers. hawt.

we rapped it.
navy bandanas covering our eyes, ghetto staal.
that was followed by a girlie "GOOOOOOOOOOOO CAMP!" at the end. with cheerleeding kicks and whatnot.
weeeeeeyrd.

we beat the record time of 1:19 mins with our 0:19 time on one event.
ask about it.

the group i lead has a range of 6 years for age.
i'm nearly the youngest.

odd.


tmrw i miss training to attend 70 kids walking to some really slow music. oh, and mark's graduation.

weeeeeeeyrd.

Subject:

what am i supposed to do without my cell phone?

Body:

The phone quiz: Grab your cell (uh.. ok.. give me couple of mins to find it.) 01. What is the phone maker? Nokia 02. What's the last 3 digits of your mobile number?: 261 03. What does the 2nd message in your inbox say? im here!! 04. Who's the first person who comes up under the letter M? markus 05. Who's the last person you called? mum 06. Who was your last missed call from? a string of 9s. 07. Who's the 2nd person who comes up under D? denard. one of the guys from across the hall in the dorms. i don't even know why i have his number. give me a min to delete it. 08. What does the last message in your inbox say? wahdik argg 09. Who's the 3rd person who comes up under J?: jessica pety! i wonder if she'll be at camp again 11. Who's the 4th person who comes up under S?: stephen supergenius (my uncle, bella's dad) 12. What does your banner say? t-mobile *K¤¤§h€¥€* Tue 23/May/2006 13. How many messages are currently in your inbox?: 74 on this phone. more precious ones on the samsung. 14. What do you have as your background? a red and purple heart overlap moving static..ly. 15. Who's the 2nd person who comes up under R? ray williams. who played esther at camp last year. see his pic in myspace friends. then you'll know why it was hilarious. (the guy is fit to be goliath) 16. Who's the 5th person under T?: i only have 4 so the fifth click returned to the first- teta. 17. If you're on Pay as you Go, how much credit do you have? i'm not. and fyi everyone, my bill is the least (by FAAAAAAAAAR) out of everyone. 18. Who's the first person who comes up under C?: Caleb =D 19. How many bars of signal do you currently have?: 7. but my battery only has 2. i can't even remember the last time i charged it. tsk tsk tsk. i was the first to have a cell phone, and the first to have no use for it. shame.

I have one more day before camp training begins. i'm not worried about any of it.. for the most part, i know how everything works. but nevertheless, fear is starting to settle in. questions are starting to arise. doubt is creeping in.. this year i'm going to be a covenant group leader.. all 130+ counselors are divided into groups of 8 or so for weekly meetings, support, and just a source of accountability. and i'm going to be leading one. it's only my second year. and i'm starting to wonder how badly i'm going to fail at it. thing is i've been feeling down lately. quite weak and drained. i'm having nightmares and random headaches. and i'm not really a people person. ..i'm more of a person person. doesn't that put me at follower/teamplayer rather than a leader? i am looking forward to it so much, but am just really scared of failing. i don't feel like i'm ready. not physically, not spiritually... not .. i just don't feel like my heart is stable...

i saw a photo of a good friend of mine wearing some cool shoes. i remembered a pair i had seen before, that i reeeeally wanted (but can't personally afford now that i make my own money. bah.). believe it or not, i designed something dangerously similar to this about.... 7 years ago. no joke.
bottom line: i LOVE!

That's her poker face.


i'll caaaaaall your bottle and raise you a tricycle.


he's dehfinnittlee sakkin.

Nasa and i had a little episode today. you surely missed out.


entertainment.

21 is for the child inside of you. or the rambi inside of you.


if you know me, you know this is signature me. noush is a copycatter. or just wants to join in the happy family (refer to big toe for emoticon.)

i get misty blue

T | h | e | 3's |

Name 3 schools you went to:

• iics (istanbul)
• Foley's (british, in cyprus)
• Melkart (lebanese?, cyprus)
• beirut evangelical school for girls and boys (woohoo! lebanon)
• iics (10 yrs later! -international, istanbul)
• aub (woohoo! lebanon)
• ndu (freakin french smokers, lebanon)
• gsu (freakin freak freak freak, jawja.)
• ohhhhh. just threeeeeeee.
  

Name 3 things in your purse/wallet:

• 4 $5 bills. hm.
• photos of those i love
• plastic. yeaaaaaaaaah. (ie, drivers license. ;) hehehe)
  

Name 3 things you do when you're really stressed:

• sleep
• breathe
• beg God
  

Name 3 places you go on a daily basis:

• work
• home
• ...uh.. work?
  

name 3 favorite fruits:

• cherries
• kiwi
• strawberries
  

Three names you go by:

• sarah
• kooshie
• farah. (mark)
  

Three of your Favorite foods:

• lasagnaaaaa
• salads- the ones i make with my friends are usually unbeatable. the best in the world.
  
• good ol' lebanese food.
  

Three things you are wearing right now:

• shorts
• tshirt
• dorky glasses.
  

| T | h | e | W | h | o | s |


Who is in the house with you?

• mark n mum. asleep.
  

Who was the last person to IM you?

• adonis telling me he couldn't watch the video i'd sent him. FINE.
  

Who did you last talk to on the phone?

• mark. he was wondering if i was gonna hurry up and leave work so we could go. (he was waiting for me outside)
  

Whos house did you last go to?

• my aunt's. we'd had dinner at a second relative (not direct =P; uncle's brother in law) and stopped in at my aunt's (same compound) to watch without a trace. heh.
  

Whose birthday is next?

• wooha. may is the busiest birthday month for me. who's next?... TONISHHHH!!!!
  

Who do you wish you were with right now?

• ha. funny. i've been watching vids of family and friends all day. i wish i could be everywhere. i just wish i were allowed to be.
  

Who annoys you the most at school?

• students asking a question the teacher had JUST FINISHED ANSWERING. where on earth where you??
  

| T | h | e | W | h | e | r | e |S


Where do you live?

• far from who i want to hang out with. very far.
  

Where is your phone?

• upstairs on my bed i think. never use it.
  

Where is/are your parent(s)?

• one's across the ocean, one's across the hou
  

Where do you sleep?

• as of late? anywhere i'd be when sleep strikes. in any position.

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?

• it was being given away from a friend to another friend, so i intercepted.
  

Where was the last place you took a ride to?
ummmm... work. i think. mum drove.

| T | h | e | W | h | a | t | s |


What was the last thing you ate?

• Raaas il 3abiiiiiid!! the last one! (or so mark thinks ;) )
  

What color pants are you wearing?

• ain't wearin pants. but the shorts are grey.

What kind of cell phone do you have?

• one that connects people. (psh. supposedly.)
  

What is the closest item near you that is blue.

• the "save as draft" button on blogger

What is your favorite color?

• black i guess
  

What is your favorite website?

• gooood one. i have a very, very long list of favourites. if you wanna see, i'll scrn prnt it for you. but i enjoy the ones that are updated often. and tell me something about someone.
  

What kind of surgery have you had?

• the one where it never happened at all?
  

What is the last movie you watched?

• mission impossible iii. wow. my head HURT! it's non stop action. seriously. like... take a break already.
  

What song do you currently hear?

• the melodies of my whirring laptop.
  

| T | h | e | W | h | y | s |


Why does half the world have a myspace?

• because it's more addictive than nicotine.
  

Why do we have to go to school?

• very, very good question. if you ever find a good answer, let me know.

Why are people labeled (like emo, goth, prep etc.)?

• coz racism and sexism got laws.
  

| T | h | e | W | h | e | n | s |


When did you start school?

• ages ago
  

When is your birthday?

• before those ages ago
  

when did u last go to the mall?

• when we watched miIII we went a group. i think it was saturday. yeah it was. coz i'd just gotten out of my final final. straight into an action movie. greeeat.

When was the last time you bought a pair of pants?

• i believe that would be my business suit. so early this semeseter.
  

When did you last burn a candle?

• the current. new years.
  

When were you last at school?

• earlier today. (techniklee, yest)
  

When did you last see your dad?

• couple of days after new years. (that's an interesting question. ??)
  

i can't feel my toes.

1. In one sentence, explain what ended your last relationship:
choice. (how's one word?)

2. What made you smile today?
my adorable cousin ella. we spend the entire evening together laughing and playing. she's old enough to know that making funny faces is funny. and that releasing blow up balloons makes them fly. and that 'duckies' live on the minilake.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8a.m.?
sleeeeeeeee,ping!

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
editing videos on movie maker. i've been working on transferring videos from my video camera hi8 tapes onto computers.

5. Something that happened to you in 1985?
uh. i breathed for the first time?

7. Last thing you said aloud?
OK.

8. Last thing someone else said aloud?
Saaaraaa ma tinsi t7atti'l pudding bil birrad. [saaaaaraaaaa don't forget to put the pudding in the fridge] (ps. it's still not in the fridge. but i haven't forgotten!!)

9. Worst thing currently on television:
let me see. um.. well.. commercial, commercial, the late late night show, commercial, the shopping channel, that orange haired tall guy.. i forget his name.. uh.. ah conan obrian., commercial, "the 150 romantic classics"- "CALL NOW! AND GET TWO CDS EXTRA!! that's a total of over $300!! but order NOW with your credit card and you only pay naaan naanee-naaan***** ok i better flip, some interview, that weird bible guy, some retarted politician on the news, commercial, oh and the late late show again. hm. yeah, so that's all the channels we have. the question should be "bessst thing currently on tv." coz then i'd say craig furgeson on the llnshow. (i like his british accent.) (oh- and coz he let mute math play on his show. that's big brownie points.)

10. What was in the mail today?
something from ebay and something i have to write a cheque for. (ofcourse)

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
i just drank orange juice. oops.

12. What is your favorite part of the day?
when ella silently, and oh so maturely crouched by the lake and whispered.. "duckies".

13. Your current To-do list?
uh... well. i don't have a list!! yay!! ...sleep? i should. we're going to the renaissance festival the whole day tmrw.
and i have nooooo cameraaaaaaaaaa.
so i'd day my list is ... FIX MY CAMERA. and finish uploading the vids for you guys.

14. Where is your best friend right now?
faaaaaaaar, faaaaaaaar away.

15. What color is your toothbrush?
i just threw out the purple and white, now it's transparent and blue.

16. What is out your back door?
a slab of concrete. used once. by me. to spray paint the back of aol cds. to hang in my room. coz it's cool.

17. Any plans for Friday night?
well technically it's sunday morning. so next friday?... um.. no i don't think so.

18. Least favorite place to shop?
i guess i haven't been there yet. i'm disgusted at urban outfitters if that means anything. stuff that looks like it was made at home (like- in a VERY obvious way) in like 3 sizes. rediculously expensive. they have couple of nice guy tshirts. that's it.

19. Last thing you bought?
hm... i bought mark an ac adaptor for his computer off ebay.

20. Last gift you received?
roses from daddy, and the most. adorable. smile from ella.

21. Funniest thing you heard all day?
stuck in traffic, mark looked out the car window, hand on seatbelt, and said "should i catch it??"... i looked at him..."why???" eyeing the struttin', peepin' bird on the sidewalk. he looked at me like it was obvious.
..."it's making a funny sound".
?=|

hehe.. i cracked up on the steering wheel.

23. What color is your front door?
bordeaux. some shade of red. ... i think.

24. Beautiful is:
the perfect word to describe some people i know. usually it's not enough though.

25. Describe your keychain:
chunkaaay! it's the hook climbers use for their ropes, embellished with a kooshie (ofcourse), my half of rana and i's bbff keychains, foldable scissors... uh.. oh a kroger card... the mailbox key, and the house key. and the car keys, when i have em.

26. Where do you keep your change?
everywhere!!

27. Say something to the number 1 person in your Top 8:
hello.
(#1???)

28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
a black down one. without the hawk. good memories in that coat.

29. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
can't remember. but it wasn't gloomy or rainy. (heh)

30. Favorite ice cream flavor?
sigh.

31. Last rainbow you saw?
hm... the one we saw on our trip to pennsylvania (or was it on the way back?) over cmas.

32. Something you are excited about?
playing freedom soccer with the girls!

um. it took me about a minute to notice that was me.
thanks rana. i always wanted no hips and an afro!!!! grooovay! hehehe...
check this one with music #3!!

=*

i'm reaching that point where numbness takes control.

..i'm trying... but the patience i'm trying to maintain is turning into severe envy.

freaky. ghost on jars of clay night.

blaring which project?

sweet.

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

i'm very fond of remixes. some of my favourites whole cds are rachael lampa's Blur, tobymac's Re:mix of Momentum and Diverse Cittay, got a Bitter:sweet one. not to mention remixes for arabic songs and coldplay.

after my first final wed night, on my way home, i was listening to my Avalon: O₂ Remix cd. it's a favourite. one song struck me anew. and i thought of you.

Alot of you whom i've talked with are going through a tough time or feel pressured by decisions to made...
Rana, Caleb, Christian, Ousama,... myself.
this is for you.
it's very upbeat, and sounds like it came off the ocean's 11 soundtrack after coldplay stumbled upon it. but the words are a reminder, and i hope they give you comfort. [and it's so freakin awesome to drive to at night on an empty road.]
in joy.


Edit::May5:: i've changed the link above to be streaming sound. and i've now made 3 links (that will expire in 1 week from today) where you can actually download the file. BUT there are only 9 downloads available (i'm assuming not more than 9 ppl come by here regularly/this far back into the posts =P
So. when you click 'download' the file will open in a media player and will play, but everytime you play it is considered a download.
SO. Right click, save target/link as. then play the file that you saved on the computer as many times as you like..
Remember to actually go to [one of the] links below, and then save the link [ .wma file] on that page.

mark refuuuuuuuused to smile for the cam with me. so i pulled his ear.

then i tickled his waist (sly hand manipulation around the back ;) ) he was trying to pinch me too. can you tell? ha.

forgot to post this on christmas. i won miss 'overstocked decorations.' ofcourse my competition was mark... who sorta wore... nothing decorative. heh.

man were those baubles heavy. my glasses wouldn't stay put!

used to be my favourite day of the year....

so once again noush goes to sleep when she should be awake =P
yeees i'll draw it for you again. just need to go to an art store and get a canvas.


good times in the pullman.... hehe.. i love this photo.
it's a pretty bouquet timy, but she deserves alot more.


i miss, i miss, i miss.
teddy bear, alveolus is it now? and timy. who i associate orange with for some reason.


joe. i miss youuuuuuu. and you went off and had asian kids?? fine.
heh. he is kinda cute though. ;)


this woman is the most patient in the world. insistant, but full of love. strove long and hard to get us to know what Jesus wants of us.
i miss you, i love you, you'll always be my cheftain hoda.

some really early ( & COLD) hour on sunday morn (apr30.06). i was trying to be a warrior. with weapons of a glowstick, and... uh.. that was either my phone or my flashlight. hehe.

Some GNC photos i stole from the web. more to come. of my own =P (some already posted! find them!)




that's the tree (on the right) we slept under. this is at 7am. bleh. it's cold. and we wanna sleeep.

this isn't so much a photo, but this is very much the mood of the artwork i made for that night. same idea as my crumpled & ripped paper.

Vids: Video1
Video2